A post, though late, for Blogging for LGBT Families Day (which was June 02, 2008).
We are most definitely not conventional. But we do aim to be traditional, in most of our at-home and relationship roles.
Fil dons the hat of father and husband quite well. She totters off to work and cooks the meat and fixes things that are broken. But she is also the great protector, the strong shielding force of our family. For the two months that I was pregnant, she ambled in front of me, acting as a human shield between the world and our baby. There is no doubt that she will assume that role once we’re pregnant again.
She is also called ‘daddy’, because in our eyes, that is what ‘daddy’ is – not ‘male parent’ as in the traditional straight view – and has Father’s Day all to herself.
I gather up the skirts of the mother and wife. I attend to our son in the evenings and in between classes (during the day) I do my house-wifely duties and clean the home. Dinner is always cooked (mostly) by me and I always ensure that the dishes and clothes are washed.
I take on this roll with so much pride it almost startles my friends and mother. I’ve always harbored a very deep need to be a mother, and with that has stuck the traditional values of a mother. Realizing my homosexuality did nothing but strengthen and reshape those values – reshaping the faceless male figure into a much more desirable female figure, in this case, wearing a wife beater.
With these traditional values and yearning for a bigger, bouncier family, Fil and I have climbed over obstacle after obstacle in the search for the ‘perfect’ family.
We spent months debating whether or not to take a week off and go to Canada and get married. Fil divulged that she didn’t want to start trying for a baby until we’d gotten a marriage license. But after much protesting, we both agreed to ditch the attempt at marriage until it becomes legal in Texas. We feel, why waste the money and energy to go somewhere and get something that turns into a simple piece of paper once we’ve entered Texas. And we’re not gearing up to go to California and get married there for the same reason – the stiff resistance to all things homosexual and marriage like in Texas.
But we’re still fighting, trying to live as normal a life as possible, uphold our traditional values and maintain the pride that comes with being gay. I’m looking towards the horizon, hoping that one day soon I will get to say “I do” and finally, legally be Mrs. Filthy Husband.
Loved this post!!!