Just, wow.
So, thanks to LizaWasHere and my insatiable desire to click EVERY link in her posts (just hers, why? no clue), I somehow found myself perusing the fees pages of the Fairfax Cryobank.
Now, I’m no naive lesbian. I know the fees are staggering. But now that we are so darned close to starting, it’s almost nausiating.
1 vial, ICI: $185.00
Various profiles: $45.00
Shipping: $160.00
That’s about $400. Well heck, we can afford that, right?
Well, you know, I’d like to use the same donor for EACH kid, since we want two (maybe three? ack!) more. AND who knows how long it’s going to take for us to get pregnant? Will we get lucky? Or will we be saddly un-lucky. Hmm. Let’s re-arrange those figures…
8+ vials, ICI: $1,480.00
Various profiles: $45.00
Shipping: $1,280.00
That’s more like it, with the scary numbers. $2,805.00
At least it includes free storage (at the Austin branch of the Fairfax cryobank – at least we’d only have to pay shipping once!) for 2 years.
That leads us to… hey, what if I don’t LIKE the donors at Fairfax? There’s always California to think of.
But, damn! $370.00 for ONE vial? How much is in one vial? Standard 10 mil? That must be some damn good sperm.
So, obviously I’m having qualms with assisted reproduction via sperm banks. It’s so alarmingly expensive and such a huge, overwhelming process that, inevitably, would end up like this: us, no baby, no money. I am terrified of that aspect.
And, the no money thing is really no sweat, if we use a KD. By god, IF! But there are so many snags and snares along the way with KDs – like, WonderSperm suddenly getting HIV a few short strides shy of Try #1 almost a year ago in August. Ye-gads. Then there was possible KD #2, who will forever be labled McDirty since his girlfriend turned the whole situation into something awkwardly undesirable. Perhaps if he ever dislodges himself from his nasty girlfriend, we could use him. (If you do feel the need to wander over to those linked posts, I’d love to update you on the fact that I’m all for mixed-race, any race. We just want a happy, healthy baby. I’ve done some serious soul searching and realize that Fil is not the kind of person to turn her back on a child because it doesn’t look like her. I actually have Chicory’s wonderful blog to thank for that.)
I’m currently so utterly at a loss. We’re trying to take out a loan to help with expenses (our car needs four new tires and two new rims, along with other things) and any left overs could go to help with our TTC process. But, that’s just remnants, not thousands. (I would love to magically find an at-home, online job-type thing to help supplement income, but blue moon!) How do we go about finding a KD? We plain don’t have friends. We don’t know any men except for the ones that work with Fil… and that’s just a no-go zone. My guy friends from high school are just that, from high school. They’ve spread out through the continental U.S. and I barely talk to them. HK, a possibility, may be out of the runnings for a potential… potency problem.
That brings us back at square one. No KD possibilities. Cryobank an almost an impossibility. No pennies for a Cryobank bank.
What do I do?
Ok, this isn’t super encouraging, but it’s something….
Does Fil’s job offer those Flexible Savings Accounts where you can have up to $5k per year automatically deducted from your paycheck PRE-tax?
If they have that benefit, they only let you change the $$$ contributions at open enrollment (with some exceptions, but TTC isn’t one of them), and the $ wouldn’t become available (or deducted) until 1/1/2009.
BUT, the good news is that sperm (and shipping & storage) are qualified medical expenses under the FSA rules. AND if Fil decides to deduct $3k into one of those accounts for next year, all the $$$ is available on 1/1/2009, even though you haven’t actually contributed it yet. That’s how we managed to afford it.
Good luck!!! It is insanely expensive and crazy-making, isn’t it?