Reflecting on the very short time Monster has been 11 (because 11 is so much more different from 10, really) I find myself deeply saddened by the enormous changes that have taken place with him. Not just in these few short weeks, but in the months since summer, since becoming a 5th grader magically transformed him into a big boy.
I don’t use the term “big boy” in either a patronizing tone or a tone used for toddlers. I use it because Monster is really not a boy or a man. He’s in between, he’s a BIG boy. He does a lot of manly things, like adapts readily to a schedule – we don’t have to tell him to take a shower any more. He! does! it! himself! – and knows to take the trash out when he hears the sound of it being viciously yanked from the trash can. He’s still a boy, though, because he refuses to make himself lunch on the weekends, even if he’s starving. He’ll wait until we crawl out of our bedroom and then want a 5 course lunch, including a sandwich cut in half, potato salad, carrots, grapes and if he feels hungry enough, yogurt. I still tell him to chew his vitamin and that it’s bedtime. I turn off his TV when he forgets to and just falls asleep with anime on. I make his bed every other day (in the hopes that he’ll catch on and make it on the days I don’t… this isn’t working yet) and pack his backpack up (but that’s mostly to prevent his nightly procrastination).
All that being said, a lot of the boy things he used to do have vanished much faster than a tub of mustard potato salad. One of them I have mourned incessently since it passed.
Monster had a verging-on-tooth-ache-sweet habit of hanging with Fil and I at all hours when we lived with Nk, Mt and the Girls. He would sit on our floor and watch TV with us, or lock himself up while we were sleeping and play video games *very quietly*. For the longest time he had this adorable habit of, whenever Fil left the room, pretending to bust out of civilian clothes and into a superhero costume. He would proudly proclaim, while holding open his Wall Street business attire, “FD!” and hop into the spot once occupied by Fil’s rear end. He’d stretch out to all his might and cross his hands over his belly, like an old man who was rather satisfied with his cherry cobbler and beer. Much to his delight, I would exclaim “oh hello there Fill-in-Dad,” which is probably why he kept doing it for so long. Once Fil returned, she’d roll her eyes and Monster would quickly hop up and scamper off.
I miss that so much now, as he’s turning into this stranger under our roof. It’s so weird, living with this being who is constantly undergoing metamorphosis. We can’t wait until he’s finally hammered out some aspects of his personality. Oh, and when he gets over being so dramatic and cranky… all.the.time.
It’s not to be said I don’t like this new version of my son. It is such a joy to see him growing up and taking shape under my guidance (and Fil’s of course). It’s pretty neat to look at your kid and go, “hey! That mannerism? I instilled that in him!” Recognizing aspects of my personality, quirks that my parents passed onto me, are now surfacing in him. The forcefullness with which he insists that he is normal, because being weird is normal, or his appreciation for good interior design, or perhaps his recent attention shift (the kid pays close attention to the strangest things, like what is happening on the TV shows we watch). Not to say Fil has none of these things, she does, in abundance. It’s just that they appeared so sharply when we moved into our own apartment that I seriously think that all the HGTV I’ve exposed him to has done some serious good.
Anyway, I’ll get to the point of this post.
I have some plans to re-awaken the boy inside of him. One thing I plan on doing is getting him in a field of bluebonnets and wildflowers, hoping to capture the fleeting moments of childhood. Because next year? He’s going to be so over his mommy. Right now though, I’m still pretty cool. (If you don’t already know, the bluebonnet is Texas’ state flower, and almost every kid that happens to be born in this state eventually gets thrown into a fire ant infested bluebonnet field for the sake of sweet memories.)
My dad also pointed out a really neat event happening soon in town. It’s so far up Monster’s alley I can’t see it any more. The Military History Muesum hosts an annual reenactment of WWII and Civil War battles, there’s even an air show or two. Since Monster loves WWII to the point he’s choking on it’s history every time he turns on the TV (the Military channel is one of his favourites) I figured it’d be a great family experience. Not to mention, a good opportunity for pictures.
It’s my hopes that, maybe for those days, I’ll be able to recapture the Monster I once knew.
