Archive for the 'me me ME' Category

Meme Tiiiime

Thanks, Calli!

You.
Can.
Only.
Type.
One.
Word.

No.
Explanations.

Not as easy as you might think…

1. Yourself: Optimistic
2. Your boyfriend/girlfriend: Goofy
3. Your hair: Firey
4. Your mother/stepmother: Nutt
5. Your dog: Gone
6. Your favorite item: Laptop
7. Your dream last night: Terrifying
8. Your favorite drink: Spicy
9. Your dream car: Routon
10. The room you are in: Cube
12. Your fear: Irrational
13. What you want to be in 10 years: Me
14. Who you hung out with last night: Holmes
15. What you’re not: Comfortable
16. Muffin: much
17: One of your wish list items: Camera
18: Time: Morning
19. The last thing you did: Dictation
20. What you are wearing: Blue
21. Your favorite weather: Change
22. Your favorite book: Historical
23. The last thing you ate: CEREAL
24. Your life: Improving?
25. Your mood: O-O zzzz
26. Your best friend(s): Wonderful
27. What are you thinking about right now? Eggs
28. Your car: Crummy
29. What are you doing at the moment? This?
30. Your summer: Working
31. Your relationship status: Illegal
32. What is on your TV? Black
33. What is the weather like? Dreary
34. When is the last time you laughed? Earlier

The Light at the End

I feel terrible for not posting this earlier. I mean, how could I forget?! I suppose the same way I forgot to post Monster’s 12th birthday letter until well over 16 days past his birthday. I think it was the unemployment thing, the stagnation of life that happens and enfolds you when you’re scrabbling to search for that light at the end of the tunnel. The long ass tunnel I was stuck in for 2 months. That was torture.

My last post, on the 5th, was at 5 in the afternoon. Hey, that’s kind of neat. Anyway, I posted shortly after returning home from an interview wherein I got the job. I can’t believe I didn’t mention it or anything, but I guess I was high on life and feeling goopy with emotions towards my son. I’ll never know. The past week was a blur of activity and happiness.

I can honestly say that for the first time in a year I thorougly enjoy what I’m doing. My first job was taxing and frustrating, trying to squish a 40 hour position into 20 hours was too much to ask of one person. My second job was easy, but boring. I guess it was a nice break in the monotony, though. My third job, the most recent past one, was trying in its own way – a personal way.

This job, however, is brilliant. I’m transcribing dictations for two lawyers and helping around the office as needed. I love my boss, even if he is batty, and I love the office manager and other lawyers here. It’s relaxed enough to not make me feel stressed, I don’t have to battle 7 a.m. traffice since I start at 9 a.m. and lunch isn’t a thing to plan around, it just happens. I can’t say it’ll always be like this, what if it won’t? It doesn’t matter. I didn’t fall into a position that was overwhelming in its duties and priorities. I’m easing in, slowly taking things on as they come at me, learning the programmes and systems as things flow. I’m just starting to answer the phones on a more regular basis, with slightly more confidence than last week.

I’m looking at long term employment here. I’ll work here through my transcription degree and transition into a part-time medical transcription job while continuing to work for this law firm. I hope that after two years, I’ll have accrued enough in-field practice to bid the firm adieu and focus full time on my medical transcription job. So I’m going to be insanely busy.

One thing I realized, with great sadness, is that we will be living in our same apartment for another year. Which means Monster is stuck at the same school for another year. Which means we’re stuck in our crappy neighbourhood for another year. Tihs also means we wait another year to get a dog. Which kind of destroyed me for about three days. I want a dog with such a ridiculous passion, I imagine every dog I see on the street as being our dog and how it would work out. Sometimes it does and sometimes it doesn’t. Another year to plan isn’t too bad, though.

The last thing on my mind right now is TTC. It’s still there, though, gnawing at my brain. Every time I see a little baby, my heart gets that fluttery feeling and I wonder when our relationship will get back on that track. Not any time soon, and I’ve accepted that. I cherish that knowledge and hope that when we are ready, we have everything we need to hit the ground running. This includes a dog first. And a bigger place – a rented house, maybe? Who knows.

Right now, I’m happy. I haven’t been happy in months. My last job was sucking my soul straight from my body, and unemployment just made me feel terrible about myself. This job seems to be restoring a huge part of my personality to ‘right’. I’m also spending a lot of time with my best friend, and that seems to be helping substantially with my cabin fever.

My next post will be about the hardcore/awesome/amazing weekend I just spent with her. Let me just say that we communed with nature.

(Also, yesterday was my cat’s birthday. Nefertiti turned 6 years old. I remember the day I got her, she was only 8 weeks old and tiny as can be. It was the middle of summer and she used to cry because she couldn’t get onto the desk to sit with me. She learned how to crawl up the side of my bed, using her baby claws, just so she could sleep by my head. I miss the tiny, sweet kitten who watched Law & Order: SVU before bed and slept with her favourite toy mouse betwee her paws.)

December Babies

It’s a trend amongst end-of-November and December babies. The peppermint trend. If you’re one of these, you’ll know what I’m talking about instantly. The rush of giddy glee you get when you pass the ice cream section at HEB (or whatever) and see Breyer’s Peppermint ice cream in it’s red stripped carton sitting with the pumpkin pie and gingerbread flavours. The same joy you feel when they start putting out peppermint Hershey’s kisses or special edition peppermint hot chocolate. It’s a Winter baby thing.

(Now, I’m not saying it’s exclusively our thing. That would be weird to exclude those born in the other 11.5 months. Nor am I saying that all people born in this narrow time frame like the peppermint flavoured stuff. But in my observations, the majority of the people whose eyes glaze over at the mention of peppermint mocha coffee creamer are, indeed, Winter babies.)

So, the peppermint thing is my favourite thing in the whole world. I look forward to it in July. I start jonsing for peppermint hot chocolate as Monster starts school in August. Totally inappropriate because it’s sweltering and anything warm would probably kill me. I get excited when it’s November, because any minute they’re going to stock the peppermint goods.

I also get excited for December because, of course, it’s my birthday month. It’s my best friend’s birthday month. And it’s Christmas. I love Christmas. All things Christmas. Christmas carols, Christmas specials, Christmas lights. I’m nothing like Fil in this aspect, who is so Grinch-y it’s almost comical. I know it all stems from her childhood, and the fact that her Christmas’ weren’t very bright. She thinks of Christmas as a time to stress over money and gifts and family. But, for me, she’s been trying to love Christmas. So I’m over here oozing Christmas cheer. Don’t mind me.

This Sunday I turn 21. I’m not over the moon about having a birthday, but I am glad I can order a margarita for a treat and adopt Monster. Woohoo!

Day 30: I promised…

Okay, at first, I promised myself I would do NaBloPoMo even if it killed me.

Obviously it didn’t kill me. But I didn’t do it.

And then, last week, I promised myself I would post once, or twice to make up for the whole non-posting thing.

And I broke that promise too.

It’s not like I don’t have anything to say. I could tell you the four wonderful things about my job… and the four terrible things about my job. I could tell you that we may have a donor on hand. I could tell you that I’m so excited about my birthday this Sunday I can hardly keep a smile off my face. I have a lot of things to talk about. Tofurkey day, our new phones, our slow redecorating process, the excitement of February. I really like typing out the word February.

And I guess I will talk about those things. It’s very hard to find myself motivated to blog lately. I feel like we’ve been in TTC limbo for so long, that this blog barely applies to the community I’ve foisted myself upon. I feel surrounded, loved and understood, but I don’t feel like I belong. Most everyone on my blogroll has done the deed and is looking towards #2 or #3. Fil and I are just getting excited and talking more and planning even more (how is that possible when I have a plan tab?!) and it’s starting to seem tangible and real. Maybe it’s this possible-donor. He’s a friend of WonderSperm, our amazing KD who got HIV. The poor guy feels guilty that he can’t donate, and has scoured his friends for a good match. Someone he likes. It kind of hurts the heart. WonderSperm has Fil’s hair, and eyes like mine, and a jawline like McDreamy out of Grey’s Anatomy. The man is gorgeous, and kind, and a beautiful soul and I would have loved to use his DNA, again. So maybe what happened with WonderSperm is holding me back from blogging about this possible YAY! When me 2 years ago would have been all up on this shiz.

And Tofurkey Day was great. We had a big family one at my parents’ house and a small one with my best friend at home. We didn’t weasle out of making a feast, but the tofurkey we did on Saturday was so good it was so worth it all. I can’t say we have much to be thankful for (since we’re still poor and Fil is still sick) but we’re happy that Fil’s tumours seem to be responding to the radiation and that I have a good paying job with benefits.

Speaking of my job.

Here are the 4 good things.

  1. The hours. They’re perfect. Even though I get stuck in the worst of the traffic, it gives me time to think things over, listen to music, and relax away from work and home. I do get stressed, but I tell myself to relax. It’s my only ‘me’ time and I cherish it.
  2. The people. I have great friends here. The receptionist is marvelous, and everyone is incredibly friendly. I’m close with the people downstairs, and I like to park my butt for a few minutes during my mail run and chat with them. I can count on a good laugh at least twice during my run.
  3. The pay. I can gush on and on about the pay because it is so good. I know I don’t make as much as much as most, but it pays the bills and takes care of Christmas. As far as I’m concerned, that is damn good. Also, the overtime pay is great and I get mileage, a big tax free bonus.
  4. Benefits. It’s weird to be getting benefits from my job. It feels so grown up. My first job I was part time, but it didn’t matter because I worked with my dad and was already on that insurance as a dependent. Then, as a receptionist, I could have gotten insurance but it was contingent upon being able to get steady employment, and at a temp agency that’s almost impossible. So, having gotten my 3 months under my belt, I’m ready to receive my benefits. From the looks of it, it’s 90-10 with a $750 deductable. It pays for a lot of stuff my dad’s insurance doesn’t cover. Like artificial insemination. 100% coverage of all treatment after a $30 specialist fee. Yeah.

The 4 things I hate about my job.

  1. My boss. I said it, my BOSS. If Dooce has taught us anything, it’s not to disclose work crap on the net. But I’ll let that go, because I tell everyone with an operating ear. I hate my boss.
  2. The location. It’s a nice area, and I’d love to live here in the future, but it’s far away from my current home and I don’t know if we can afford to move near by. Nor do I know if we’d want to be near by, since my parents are close.
  3. The building. It’s gross, smelly and old. The management company takes very poor care of the place and I have to run to the first floor to use the facilities. Also, the elevators have been broken so many times most people are too scared to take them!
  4. I feel like I’m not good enough. Like nothing is ever good enough for my boss, she always finds something to pull apart, and when I do amazingly well, there’s always a ‘but’. Maybe I’m just sensitive, but some days I just want to cry from all the pressure to be good. I know, I know. Welcome to adulthood.

So, there you have it. My job. It rocks, it sucks. That’s life. The best thing is the benefits. I feel like my TTC limbo visit is all but over. We just need the sperm and a new place and soon we’ll be staring at OPKs, trying to figure out if that’s really a line or the angle of the light hitting the stick off the mirror.

Congrats to all of you who finised NaBloPoMo. You are better than I, this time.

Day 17: Lame

So, I’m lame. I can’t even keep up with NaBloPoMo. In my defense, I have been incredibly busy since the 12th.

Let me start off by saying that, yes, I realise it’s only Novemeber, but as parents, Fil and I start thinking about Christmas 1 to 2 months in advance. So, while we haven’t even bought our seasonal tofurkey, we’re already thinking about Black Friday deals and wrapping paper.

I only get paid twice a month, the first Friday and the second Friday. It’s obvious where the first pay check goes (rent) and the second pay check is used on bills and household necessities. Due to the time of the year (Christmas), the majority of that second pay check is getting rerouted to presents for the boy and for the family. So far we’ve managed to tackle 4 presents for the boy and one family member totally knocked out, while two others remain partially done. As for my parents and grandparents, we’re at a loss. To cut down on cost, we’re doing joint presents for each pair, but we’re not sure what a good present would be. Eh.

We’ve become ridiculously skilled at managing our budget around this time of year. We’ve made money spread thinner than the last bit of butter on 3 slices of toast. Monster has always had presents under the tree. I’ll admit, it was much easier when he was a Lego freak, because we could fill in holes with Star Wars sets. But, now that he’s gone through and sold all of his Legos and grown past that stage, we’re panicked about what to get him. Thankfully, both sides of the family have promised to pitch in for a group present (Fil’s side is getting us the XBox 360 while my side is getting us the PS3) and we were able to fill in huge gaps with new games he’s been drooling over for months. He’s only getting a few games (4 total, 3 for the new systems and 1 for the old PS2 that he’s getting in his room) but they’re expensive enough to take up a good chunk of our $350 budget.

We’re smart about these things, now. Last year, if you look at the pictures (in retrospect, I didn’t actually get around to posting them), he got a good amount of kids toys. Legos, Nerf guns, plastic warriors. You get the picture. We were completely unsure about our purchases, because he was on the cusp of “too old” and rarely played with his toys that he already had, especially the Legos. We made an agreement, “this is the last year” we said. And it was. We’ve now made the same promise, about light sabers and other kinds of toys, unless he specifically asks for it. It’s a hard thing to swallow, because that means we’re parting with his childhood. Not completely, because in most ways he is still a child, but we’re still packing up the last of his boys sized clothes and getting him shoes that look enormous (and they are, he wears a size 9 in mens, and even at a half size too big, they fit my feet).

I guess what I’m getting at here is that this coming Christmas will be, in many ways, bittersweet. How tightly do I hold onto the memories we’ll make? Will this be the last year he writes a letter to Santa? What about the Candy Cane Monster? Will he still thrill at the sight of a hand written note and candy cane-turned-monster stashed away in his room? I know each memory we create with our son is more precious than gold, but how hard do you hold onto such things, when you never know how long they’ll stay a child?

Next year, we’ll have a whole new set of worries and joys (TTC) to focus on accompanying the Christmas distress. So I’d like to focus hard on my son this year, and think long and hard about what kind of cookies to make Santa this year, because he loves both snickerdoodles and chocolate-chip-peanut the best.

As for song of the day, I think I’ll go with In a Graveyard – Rufus Wainright. I first heard the song in 9th grade, after a friend posted it when the days got long and cold. Because of that, I will always connect that song with the odd cold days here in Texas, and like the past few days, today is one of those. (Also, it’s a beautiful song.)

Day 10: Scary Things Happen

Scary thing happened at work today:

I almost died.

Well, kind of. I had a ‘wow, I could have just died’ moment in the elevators.

I jumped in with the mail cart, ready to head down to the 2nd floor to finish my mail run. The elevator whirred and started to drop … fast … and I felt sick and terrified. It lurched to a stop after what seemed like forever, and after a long minute, the doors banged open and revealed that I was stuck between the 1st and 2nd floor. I panicked, and just as I was starting to wish I had my cell phone, the doors slammed closed and the elevator shot to the 3rd floor, repeated the procedure with the doors (open, slam fast) and fell to the 2nd floor like nothing had happened.

I was so shaken, but finished my mail run and quickly hurried back upstairs (in the same death trap elevator). I got the receptionist on getting that fixed and walked back to the mail room, frantically texting Fil for some comfort.

It was ridiculous, had the elevator fallen I probably would have just been bruised, but not dead. Still, I was scared and every time I step into an elevator now I’m going to be gripping something for dear life.

Song of the Day: Storms in Africa - Enya

I don’t know if you know this about me, but I love Enya. Growing up, I listened to her for sleep, for relaxation, and for enjoyment. Needless to say, I was way different from the other kids in my class who were obsessed with boy bands and didn’t know what Gaelic was.

Enya still soothes me as an adult. I can’t listen to her in the car, otherwise I feel incredibly tired and risk dozing off at the wheel. Forget listening to an album on a road trip! I’m sure that’s the exact reason why Enya CDs were always close on hand during a car trip through out my childhood.

Right now, I’m feeling a deep need to be soothed. After the elevator incident, the distressing attack at Fort Hood (in the town my father grew up in) and Obama’s health care plan, my stress and anxiety levels are through the roof. I shall listen to this on repeat until my blood pressure goes down.

Day 7: Grocery Shopping

I’d like to think we have a great routine for grocery day, but I know that’s not the case.

Since Fil is on forced medical leave, she gets to keep her Medicaid and her Food Stamps. We get a little over $350 a month for groceries, and it’s always on the 3rd of the month. Usually we do a whole months worth of shopping on that one day, ripping the bandaid off fast I guess you could say. Normally this works alright – we huff and puff up three flights of stairs, at least four times, and for the next hour clean out the fridge and pantry and restock. It’s a pain, for sure, but we’re done and only need to fill in with bread, milk and veggies as the weeks go on.

Occasionally, it doesn’t work out so well. Like this past week when food stamps came in, it was a Tuesday. Both Fil and I knew there was no way we could accomplish a full grocery run on a weekday. We’re usually in the store for 2 – 2.5 hours on a big shopping trip. It involves two grocery carts, a calculator and a lot of patience. I don’t have a lot of patience during the work week, so we opted to grab a few things to fill in for the rest of the week and we’d get the shopping done on Saturday - er, today.

I can tell you that it sucked. I don’t know why we don’t just get it done on a weekday, when it’s not as insane and packed with loud, obnoxious UT students. Saturday, the good vegetarian selection is picked over and the vegetables have been horribly manhandled. It’s just all together frustrating and I dread dragging pounds of groceries up and down the stairs.

But, it’s all worth it, in my opinion. By the time we’ve finished and cleaned up dinner, our fridge smells nice and clean and it’s packed with yummy foods and so is our pantry. It gets very scary at the end of the month, when we’ve got some bread, milk and a bunch of Zataran’s sides… and nothing else. Be careful if you ever come to our place – our freezer is perpetually booby trapped, you might have a box of our son’s Le@n Pockets jump out at ya.

Song of the Day: Jump (for my love) – The Pointer Sisters

What’s not to love? It makes me feel happy inside, and after that shopping trip I feel triumphant enought to dance. On the inside, of course.

Day 2: I’m not into DST

I hate daylight saving time. I have such a hard time adjusting, just like our cats. This morning, I woke up at 4.45 in a panic, thinking it was almost 7 (the birds!) only to realise while I was blow drying my hair that it was waay too dark out for 7 a.m. and immediately crawled into bed for another 2 hours.

I also had to explain to Monster why it was bright out when we left. Well, more like I led him to the conclusion by questioning him. “We turned back the clocks an hour yesterday, remember? So, if we hadn’t turned the clocks back, what time would it be?” It isn’t all that easy, trying to get a tired 11 year old to come to conclusions on his own. There was a lot of hming and hawing but he finally nailed down the reason and it seemed to jazz him up for the day.

Anyway, DST sucks. I know it’s necessary and has become a yearly habit, but it messes with my system and then I’m running, trying to catch up with sleep for the whole week. So far, I’ve just been running off of caffeine and pure adrenaline. We’ll see how that works.

Song of the Day: Concerto No. 4 in F minor, Op. 8, RV 297, “L’inverno” (Winter) – Antonio Vivaldi

I know it’s only autumn, but Winter is my favourite of Vivaldi’s Four Seasons. Lately I’ve been able to see my breath hanging in the air, which evokes winter and hot cocoa for this Southern girl, so I’ve been listening to this on repeat for days now.

Mother’s Day 2009, a nod to an unborn son

This seems to becoming a pattern with this blog. This is yet another Mother’s Day Post, post-Mother’s Day. And yesterday was my third Mother’s Day.

Like last year, it was by no means, special. We had a lovely brunch with my grandparents, parents and my uncle. We passed the rest of the afternoon by my grandparents’ pool while Monster swam and my grandfather played opera over the stereo. It was very relaxing and I felt like I was reset and ready to tackle another week, and another round of job applications.

I didn’t get any presents, not like last year, where Monster presented me with beautiful paintings which are now framed above our bed. I’m okay with that, because I have him and my wonderful Fil and that’s all I need.

Even so, I felt like last year was more about me than this year. Last year, my son treated me to breakfast tacos after midnight and Fil took me on a long and wonderful date.  However, I understand why that wasn’t the case this year. Fil’s birthday was on Thursday (my parents got her an MP3 player and my grandparents got her a gift card, she felt so loved and has not stopped talking about it since then), my uncle’s birthday is tomorrow (happy birthday, Uncle J!) and there are plenty of mom’s in my family to celebrate. I was thankful for the free meal and the wonderful family time. Everyone doted on Monster (as usual) and our mother’s day cards got grandmother and mother quite misty. A success, I declared.

Nevertheless, I can’t ignore how exciting last Mother’s Day was, how good we all felt and how easy it was to ignore the darker side of things. We were four days from our move and busy buzzing around the house packing everything we owned. There was so much to do I nearly forgot to spend a little time reflecting on the loss of Michael, our unborn son.

I have designated May to be my month of rememberance. It was in that month that I allowed myself to mourn his loss and repair from the devestating physical effects of a miscarriage. It was in that month that I named him. He was the boy I saw in my dreams that previous March, the boy with fat thighs, drooly cheeks and no hair.

I know that I will probably have this problem in the future. That when Fil and I hitch ourselves to the TTC train again, we will probably experience a lot of misery before joy. We are saddened that he did not stick, because he was our first and last chance with WonderSperm, the worlds most perfect donor (he looks so much like Fil, down to his smirk and he has such a wonderfully generous heart that I hoped he would pass on to my child) and Fil’s cousin. If you don’t care to jump back, our chance to use him was cut short (literally, a week or more) when he contracted HIV from his promiscuous partner. We mourn the chance to have Fil genetically linked to our child.

But this post is not to mourn Michael, who will always have a place in my ever expanding heart. I am happy to have Monster, who fills the corners of my heart with so much abundant love it’s indescribable. For all of you mothers, Happy Mother’s Day. You are powerful and strong and wonderful in many ways. If you are in a dark place, or find yourselves struggling with the day-to-day, let your children squeeze in and do what they do best, love you.

To all of those who are struggling to become mothers, whether it be again or for the first time. Don’t let Mother’s Day fill you with bitterness and resentment. Look at it as a day for things to come, when your life will be filled with pink flowers and handprint cards.

Spring

It rained this morning in Austin. Hard and heavy, thick droplets of rain smashing down onto cars, echoing off of tin and splattering against windows. These early Spring rains bring not the sticky warmth of late April, but cool breezes from the north where Winter is still queen. Yet somehow, inexplicably, these cold rains nourish the Spring bloom. Set against a grey, dismal sky the once barren trees of Austin’s Winter are now resplendent with feathery crowns of vibrant greens. The stark contrast between what my view once was, spindly trees with blackened leaves, and is now is amazing, brilliant swaying giants with shocks of bright green leaves.

This part of Spring is my favourite part, the early breaths in Texas are the most beautiful, when the air is still cool but the trees have already donned their Spring attire. As it warms through the day, the green becomes more lush, the sun cooking off the water making tendrils of steam rise against the canopy outside of the office windows. It’s so hard to concentrate, the vast view of Spring birthed before me.

Today is not a work day, not for most of us. About 45% of the office is actually concentrating, focusing on getting the last leg of work done. Most are too busy flitting around, chatting on the phone or with co-workers, grabbing lunch or taking long bathroom breaks. No one wants to be here, when the sky is still grey but the sun peaks through, hinting of the weekend to come.

I’m so thrilled for the rain, because it comes in thick diagonal sheets, blanketing our newly planted herbs and tomatoes on our porch. Because of the intermittent rain followed by heat and bright sunlight, our tomatoes are growing faster than we expected. Their little shoots shot up through the coconut husk planter so fast we quickly removed the plastic bag serving as a miniature greenhouse over the weekend. Our little herbs aren’t doing so well, two sprouts – Italian parsley and chive – have popped up and remained at the same size since then. The wait is agonizing, but soon our little porch side garden will be in full bloom.

It’s always been a big dream of mine to grow a lush, fruitful garden in my backyard. My mother grew tomatoes in an old claw foot tub in our backyard and they were so delicious and wonderful I wanted to grow thousands of tomato plants in my own first home. The good news is, Fil shares the same dream. In my imagination, I see swaying trees, ripe with plump Mexicola Grande avocados, fragrant lemons, heavy red apples and firm loquats. I see long rows of green onions, cucumbers, tomatoes, squash, beans … all kinds of vegetables and fruits.

My desire for a garden, I think, I deeply rooted in my connections to the country. I’ve mentioned my family’s roots before, I believe. My father’s side of the family, the side I know best, is from a small town in a Western county in Ireland. There, our family (my direct family, lots of cousins etc.) still owns a farm and a bed and breakfast. They were farmers, probably owned some sheep too, and I own that past with pride. My mother’s side, however, is made up of farmers, ranch workers. The land has fed, clothed and put a roof over many of their heads. My great-grandmother was a chicken farmer, her husband raised watermelons. There have always been cows, on both sides, and gardens that flourished with all sorts of delicious fruits and vegetables. When I was younger, my grandmother had a little garden, as well as a chicken coop. She had fresh eggs, cabbage and squash and I thought it was the neatest thing ever. I set it in my mind, that image of a bountiful garden replete with life giving goods.

Now, on our humble porch, the beginnings of an urban garden are taking root. Little chive, parsley and oregano struggle up through black soil, while tomato sprouts stretch and turn their leafy heads towards the sun. Every morning we check the progress of our little seedlings, wriggling with excitement to see how many new tomato stalks there are. Soon we will transplant them in a hanging basket, grape tomatoes will grow on top while plump big reds dangle below. When our first tomatoes ripen, I will pick them and some parsley and go inside to make a tomato salad with homemade mozzarella and vinaigrette.

I love Spring.

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